December. Emotional month.

People always tell me that

You deserve the kind of love 

that makes you feel that you're the luckiest person alive 

That people envy and admire

That makes you love yourself

Yes people tend to envy and admire me 

Yes I do love myself .. Well maybe sometimes I don't :(

I have bad habits, bitch attitude sometimes and yeah a pessimist.

I care about how others think of me 

That's why I am hurt all the time

Trying my best here not to care shits about people bitching about me

I used to think that I am overreacting 
But I realized it was just a normal reaction to an abnormal amounts of bullshits.

There is one thing I don't get it is 
Why people enjoys backstabbing others .. Or me.
Is it fun to do that to them ?
Why you never put yourself in their shoes ?
Think about their feelings. Please.
What if they did the same to you ? What will you feel ?
Exactly. So stop bitching people. Especially those kindhearted people.

I am sad. But I don't know why I am sad. I am just sad. Can't seems to put a smile on my face. I hurt too much people. Even those whom I am really close to. I want to cry. I am bleeding inside. Yeah well I am crying when I am writing this tho haha. Emotional shits haih. 

It's sad when people can make everyone else happy but not themselves. It's truly sad.