how long does this end

Not sure where to really start this but I came across someone mentioned on a post about how some people seem to be instantly forget about their ex, rationally accept reality and carry on with their lives after a breakup. But I personally don't quite agree on...? Like what do you mean by instantly forget ? You don't forget someone you used to love deeply, they hold a special place in your heart, be it a good or bad breakups, they definitely hold a place in them.

But here comes the part where after months or even years later, you may be healed or moved on ( that is what you think it was ), you have people come along your life and actually shows genuine interest in you but you just seem to become cold and detached.. You tell to yourself that maybe this is just an emotional freezing or numbing but the real question is : Did you really moved on ? If not, why not ?

And of course I also did a little research about some phychological context on why do we become 'cold' & 'distant' after a breakup : 

1. Emotional Numbing: When we don’t fully experience or process the pain of a breakup (because it’s too overwhelming), our nervous system protects us from future heartbreak by building an invisible “emotional wall.” Behind this wall, on a conscious level, we no longer feel sadness, pain, or grief.

2. You Can’t Selective-Numb: The brain cannot turn off only negative emotions. When you suppress pain, you automatically dull your capacity to feel love, attraction, and joy.

3. Generalization: This emotional void doesn’t just stay attached to your ex—it leaks into every new relationship, no matter how kind or attentive the new person is.

So whenever there is new people trying to enter your life, be it with full genuine intention or not, you just can't seem to feel anything for them. Not because they are not good enough for you, it may be that you had suppressed your emotions from that incident. 

Suppressed emotions don’t disappear; they store themselves in your body and subconscious. Indifference isn’t healing—it’s an escape. True healing means allowing yourself to feel the pain today so that you can feel genuine connection tomorrow. 

Not gonna lie, I have actually reached this state and right now it is peaceful and tranquility yes, but it gets so lonely and confusing at times.. Do I wanna move on ?

(background music: time machine by mj apanay)