Another late night thought.

Let go of him.

Just did. 

Still need to control myself. 

The feelings has faded yes.

But it's still there. 

It's just faded. Incompletely. 

Yes. 

Single. 

Available. 

Now. 

Desperate ?

Probably. 

Forget him ?

Can't. 

Hurtful. 

Crush. 

Liked him so much. 

But he don't. 

We are just friends. Just friends. 

Or just a substitute. 

Came to realize. 

Days ago. 

Used to sing me songs. Sad songs. 

And now I know exactly why he sang those song. 

Thought he was emotional. And yes he truly is. 

You were having a complicated relationship with her and yes you were sad, mad, disappointed, regret. And then you found me. We had a great time together. You did still in contact with her. Yes it's nothing to do with me. I'm too dumb to realize. You're a man. You need love. And I'm willing to sell it to you, without any commitment. Thought you deserve it. And now you don't need me like you used to be. Maybe you guys fix something right. Or a new prey ? Or

You have enough love already ? I don't know.  

A substitution. 

I don't care actually. 

At least I'm happy once. 

It's just that I failed to impress him.

That's all. 

Useless indeed. 

People say I'm a stupid girl. 

True that. 

A stupid overthinking girl. 

People ask what if he is having mutual feelings ? 

No. He don't. Why would he wants that ?

I'm just a nobody to him. Or just a friend. 

People ask what if you and him are together ?

Neither both of us will be happy. 

He'd stuck in a cage. Longing for  freedom. 

I'd fight for the key. To set him free. Until I bleed myself. In my own war. Between the angel and the demon.

People said that I'm stupid. 

And I replied yes I am.